I had this dream that I would write a pregnancy diary and it would such a useful thing to look back on when I had my second child. In my dream I wrote in it religiously every day and it became an incredible resource for myself and other mothers alike. Then I woke up and realised I’m already halfway through and haven’t written squat. Oops.

I also had a dream that I was a gay man… pregnancy is super weird.

To be honest, I think I was too scared to start writing anything incase we miscarried again. It’s like I didn’t want to jinx it and couldn’t bring myself to put pen to paper until we were really sure that this baby was sticking around. So yeah, I’m a late bloomer I guess but would like to start writing the occasional bits and bobs so I have a bit of a record to laugh at later down the track when I realise how naiive I was at the time. Hopefully other people find this amusing – and not just the mums because let’s face it, pregnancy is kind of fascinating for us all. We’ve all been through it to get into the world and yet the whole thing is so strange right? I mean there are little arms and legs in my tummy right now. Whack.

So let’s start with a really quick summary of my first 20 weeks. I’m going to attempt this in 20 words so here goes…

Sore boobs, excuses, hanger, worry, food, tears, exhaustion, worry, food, yoga, gas, scans, worry, food, vivid dreams, squirmy legs, food.

You see a pattern right. Thankfully as the pregnancy progresses there are slightly less worries but certainly just as many food thoughts. My whole day pretty much revolves around what I’m going to eat. Partially because you have to be careful about what you have but mainly because I can pretty much eat whenever. There’s always a little voice saying ‘yip you could definitely have a scone right now’. Sometimes I have to tell the voice to shut up because I’ve just had dinner but other times I listen. I’ve eaten a lot of scones.

The great thing is that you get the most amazing satisfaction out of eating when you’re pregnant. Unless you’re one of the many who had/have morning sickness and if that’s you I am really sorry to be rubbing this whole hunger thing in.

A lot of people want to know about what cravings I’m having and aside from a pretty intense phase of wanting peanut butter and banana on toast with salt sprinkled on top I haven’t had many weird ones. The thing I’m finding is that I’ve gone off adult things like coffee and coriander and just want plain stuff… particularly things that I enjoyed as a child. Egg sandwiches, baked beans, oranges, chocolate chip cookies, meat pies and the beloved scones are all up there. Also have to admit that I take a huge sniff of the local St Pierre’s sushi shop every time I walk past – so typical given that it’s enemy number 1 on the list of foods I’m not allowed.

 

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Ok so tearing myself away from food for a sec… the biggest revelation I had this week was when I was chilling on the couch after a dinner party at a friend’s house. I was in between a friend and Tom and suddenly realised there were actually four people on the couch – one that just so happened to be in my belly. Before now it hasn’t really felt like the baby is a person in his own right but now it really does. Whether that’s the little flutters or the fact that we now know he’s a he I’m not sure but it was pretty cool. Later lying in bed I was thinking how I’m never alone now, it’s me and him doing all the things together and aside from feeling a bit overwhelmed it was also really nice. I sure hope he is enjoying the Americans as much as I am right now because watching that show is life for me and Tom right now – definitely one to add to the Lightbox watchlist.

I was going to leave it there but something awesome happened last night that I have to share. We were in bed and I was complaining that I hadn’t felt many flutters from baby that day (I have an anterior placenta which means that it’s in front and acting as a cushion between baby and my skin so I don’t feel a lot yet). I told Tom he should say hello so he put his face right up to my belly and got a big kick in the mouth! It was like our little guy knew he was there and wanted to say hi back – or at least that’s how it played out in my hormonally overcharged head. It was the first time that Tom had felt the baby. I cried ofcourse. The tearing up thing is in full force this week – I just watched a video on Facebook and nearly started sobbing at my desk. Note to self – sad and/or really cute videos are both NSFW.



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