Since we got back from the UK we’ve been on a fast track to proper adulting (hence us starting the site). We were married within eight months of landing and after the excessive partying that comes with any good wedding we got straight into trying for a family. Unfortunately the road hasn’t been smooth sailing and we sadly miscarried in April which I have recently posted about. Now we have some happier news to share – we are 19 weeks pregnant, woohoo!! Yep it doesn’t get any more grown up than having little minis to look after and like most new parents-to-be, we are both utterly excited and just a bit petrified.

What’s fascinating is how everyone reacts to the news in almost identical fashion. You get the same things fired at you day after day. To be honest, I’ve been guilty of saying most if not all of these things to pregnant couples in the past and let’s just say that I now have a whole new respect for parents.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun answering the questions and can be really helpful to talk about other people’s experiences but what I struggle with is when unsolicited ‘advice’ is offered. Some advice is great, I mean we are new to this whole thing and soaking up as much information as possible. It’s just a bit much when people take the tone that ‘my way is the only way’ because if there’s one thing I’ve learnt in this pregnancy game it’s that everyone is different. Everyone.

In light of that, I thought I’d share my list of most FAQs and observations since revealing our news. Maybe all you parents out there can relate or maybe not because as I’d like to emphasise again, each experience is unique to you and it would be just fab if everyone could appreciate that. Sorry if that seems a bit ranty but I mean it’s not over till the fat lady sings right? Plus, hormones.

 

Are you going to find out the sex?

This has to be the number one thing I’ve been asked. Tom and I originally wanted a surprise (much to our family’s disappointment) but went through a phase of being undecided. When we told people we were on the fence then they let loose with a raft of reasons why we should or shouldn’t. Some people have been awesome telling us about their own experiences and they have genuinely helped us make a decision. Others start off with the dreaded ‘oh you HAVE to do such and such…’ based on their entirely subjective experience. *Insert rolling eyes emoji*

You should call them…

Followed by many name suggestions and a look of horror when I tell them that we haven’t really thought it through that far. I find the idea of naming someone just a bit daunting, never mind someone you haven’t met yet. So thanks for your suggestions but we’ll make that call privately, once we meet our little person.

 

It’s a girl/boy if (insert ridiculous unscientific theory here)

A fellow preggo told me that someone recently told her she must be having a girl because she got halfway through a smoothie and felt sick. I mean COME ON. It’s a girl if it has a vagina. End of.

How are you feeling?

Cue the pitying look and head tilt. The expectant look on their face as they wait for you to divulge gory details of morning sickness and crazy cravings. I swear people are actually disappointed when I say that I’m feeling good.

 

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Look after yourself

If I was to take the advice of most (men to be honest) I’d basically just sit on a soft cushion twiddling my thumbs for nine months. Father in law likes to tease me whenever he sees me pretending that he can’t give me a hug because he’s scared he’ll ‘damage’ me. He’s joking ofcourse but my own Dad on the other hand is genuinely concerned about me walking down our steep driveway now that I’m carrying his grandchild. He was never worried when I had to navigate my way down there in heels after several wines… and let me tell you, that was harder.

 

You’re eating for two now.

Don’t tempt me. I feel like I’m eating for three right now and don’t need you telling me to take another piece of brownie because it doesn’t hurt when you’re pregnant. There is waaaay too much literature out there guilting mums out of consuming sugar and excessive calories while pregnant. Anyone else out there swear they’d eat healthy as soon as they got pregnant? HA! Fat chance of that. It’s near impossible to curb the hunger pangs for cookies and pies so yeah don’t encourage me.

Enjoy sleep ins/free time while you can

We’ve enjoyed sleep ins and lazy weekends for so long that we’re ready for some little people disrupting our lazy lifestyle. And yes I realise that in a few years I will probably look back on these words in disgust.

 

You can’t eat what?! Surely just one little bit won’t hurt

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard ‘our mothers didn’t know not to eat sushi and we all turned out fine’… That would be a valid argument if our diets hadn’t changed so vastly since back then. Raw smoked salmon, aioli and sushi are now common lunch items whereas I’m pretty sure my mum wouldn’t have been snacking on those in the 80’s. Also if I’m giving up the best thing in the world (wine) for nine months then I’m sure I can handle saying no thanks to a few other things. Let me be slightly paranoid and stick to the rules – at least for my first bub.

You’re going to be amazing parents! 

This one is lovely to hear but also quite amusing when it comes from people who have literally seen me get kicked out of a pub for falling asleep in a corner. I wonder what makes Tom and I seem like we would be great parents? Is it our knowledge of excellent Netflix shows? Our penchant for Indian takeaways? I like to think it’s because the people who say this are just sweethearts trying to put our minds at ease because let’s be honest, that is the main thing that plagues your mind – will we actually be any good at this parenting guff? Time will tell… and no doubt we’ll hear aaaall about it if we’re doing it wrong!

 

PS: We totally caved when it came to the surprise and are chuffed to say we’re having a boy!



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