We’re four months in to this parenting game and it’s fair to say I am well and truly living that #mumlife. Gone are the days of having a newborn where life was pretty unpredictable and now things are kinda the opposite to be frank.  Here’s how to know if you too are in the same sleep deprived, paranoid, emotional, repetitive (and yet still somehow completely amazing) boat…

#1 You frequently feel that you’re not doing your job well. Maybe it’s just me but with any other job I’ve taken a couple of months to get that ‘I’ve got this’ feeling. So far motherhood is not like any other job. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things you’re thrown well off course and crying into your decaf tea as you read through forum after forum of conflicting advice and on that note…

#2 You’re moments away from tears at any given moment…  both happy and sad.

#3 Your personal bank statement largely consists of coffees and single item grocery purchases. Gone are the days of the weekly shop as I use the supermarket as an excuse to leave the house for coffee en route.

#4 You judge cafes on their buggy access and change table facilities.

#5 You take about a thousand photos a day, all of the baby (and maybe one selfie with you in it that you quickly delete because you look like shit).

The moment he realised there was a baby living in my phone. Mind. Blown.

#6 You are constantly surrounded by piles of washing that chip away at your soul.

#7 You tell yourself that whenever baby is sleeping you’ll go nap like all the books tell you to do or maybe tackle one of the piles of washing. Then you’re snapped back to reality by baby crying and realise you’ve been watching Ellen or trawling Facebook for an hour.

#8 You lose your words. Honestly sentences become super super uhh…

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#9 You’re on Facebook messenger a lot. Like a lot, a lot. I often wonder how lonely being a mum could have been before social media. It’s so comforting to know that if I’m having a tough day where I need support but can’t physically leave the house for it that one of my gorgeous mum friends is just a quick message away.

#10 You are always clock watching. Not because you’re bored, hahaha oh to be bored!! No to check how long baby’s been sleeping, to check how long baby’s been feeding, to check how long it’s been between naps, feeds, changes, tummy time. GAH. I wonder how I would function as a mum without any access to time for a day.

#11 You are watched while you shower. If you’re like me then you have to shower with baby in the bathroom in one of those bouncy things. Multi tasking is taken to a whole new level as you try to relax and wash your hair while entertaining bub from a distance.

Thank you people at Babybounce. If it weren’t for you I’d smell real bad.

#12 You never finish something in one go. A meal, a cup of tea, unloading the dishwasher, the list goes on. I am half expecting the baby to wake up as I write this very sentence. Nope, we’re still good. Holy crap this is big guys.

#13 Your chat becomes seriously limited. Yes the loss of vocab is one thing that doesn’t help but I’m talking the content too. I often find myself regaling Tom with poo stories… and then realise I’ve already told him that one a couple of times.

#14 Yeah you repeat yourself a lot.

#15 You despise anyone who has the audacity to say how tired you look. Even though they’re 100% right.

#16 Your nursery rhyme game is strong. Galumph went the little green frog is a personal fave.

#17 Your heart explodes every damn day and all the crippling self doubt, sleepless nights and poonamis in the world can’t take away the joy you get when your little person looks at you and smiles.

Better go, baby is awake and I have some washing to not do.

 



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