We rank the Griffin’s sampler from worst to best January 7, 2018 Eating in Marketed as a delightful assortment of New Zealand’s favourite biscuits, a Griffin’s Sampler always seems to appear in most Kiwi households over the Christmas season. I spied a pile of them on special at Countdown the other day along with the somewhat depressing array of other discounted Christmassy items too sugar and fat laden for anyone to consider purchasing this early into the new year. Still, if we can’t eat the food then we may as well rank it because as you know we love a good junk food ranking and we still need some joy in our lives right? THE WORST – Pink Wafer Undeniably the worst and yet always seems to get snapped up first so I’m thinking people will disagree. But really, it’s hardly even a biscuit is it? This sure wouldn’t last the distance being dunked in a cuppa. Can you even buy a packet of these on their own? If not then they should be out of the box on a technicality – not a Kiwi favourite. Chocolate Chippie Yes it’s a classic but more of an everyday bikkie. Guaranteed to be one of the last standing after all the family have helped themselves. Chit Chat Yes I know I’m robbing a proper choccy bikkie of one of the top spots, so sue me. To be fair these have a slightly thicker chocolate coating than a Tim Tam but in all honesty they are just a rip off of the Aussie classic and I’m just not a big fan of either. I’m not a psychopath I promise, there’s just something about them that puts my teeth on edge. Oh except those chewy caramel ones, they can get right in. Choc Thin Tasty enough but if you’re only offered one biscuit then this is simply not an option. An absolute minimum of three is required to satisfy any bikkie craving… four if you’re one of those people who can’t stand odd numbers. Krispie I know that there will be backlash putting a Krispie this far up the chain. Yes they are plain but sometimes you need a bikkie that does what it says on the tin. Coconutty and crisp. Also fantastic with a cup of tea. Hundreds and Thousands My British friends were big fans of these and as Brits you have to admit they know their biscuits. I have to say I was a little surprised initially – particularly because I’d also offered them Hokey Pokey Squiggles. However, when I tried these again recently (at ante natal classes of all places) I decided they were much more delicious than my childhood memory served. There’s just something about that pink icing. ADVERTISEMENT – ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW Butter Shortbread You’ve got to love a biscuit that contains enough butter that they feel they have to include it in the name. You can’t go wrong with this classic in my opinion and it feels suitably festive. Dark Chocolate Wheaten The crunchy oaty biscuit base off set by the rippled dark chocolate coating is perfection. Holds well in a cuppa and just the right amount of naughty and nice. THE BEST – Toffee Pop I mean, obviously. Even their tragic 90’s ad campaign starring Carlos Spencer couldn’t put me off these bad boys. Just one thing Griffin’s, why the heck are Macaroons and Squiggles NOT included in the Sampler box?! Maybe they are just in a biscuit league all of their own… happy New Year healthy eating everyone! Dissatisfied, Tawa I can’t agree with this list at all. Here is my preferred order (from best to worst):- Toffee Pops Pink Wafer Hundreds & Thousands Choc Chip Chit Chat Choc Thin Dark Choc Wheaten Krispie Shortbread Dissatisfied, Wadestown I am outraged! I have to agree with Dissatisfied, Tawa with a slight change. Here is my preferred order (from best to worst):- Pink Wafer Toffee Pops Hundreds & Thousands Choc Chip Chit Chat Choc Thin Dark Choc Wheaten Shortbread Krispie Jeremy Bradley Why can’t we buy pink wafer biscuits any more? We pissed around with the flag referendum, but no one asked us about that? What am I supposed to do?